Bring me the head of the Director of South Warwickshire Tourism…oh yes…and the Chairman’s too…and while you're at it a few District Councillor's?

Oh dear oh dear oh dear oh dear…seems hoteliers in the Holy Land (Shakespeare Country) are up in arms, crazy at the decision of South Warwickshire Tourism to close the Tourist Information Centre in Stratford for the winter. (A spokesperson for the Info Centre retorts: ‘I don’t know what all the fuss is about. When else are we expected to hibernate? No more questions. I’ve got nuts to collect’)
The Stratford Upon Herald (I wish no other Herald, no other-shut up) repeats the Hotelier’s anguished cry that the Bard’s home has been demoted to a ‘a third rate tourist town’. So what’s new? (There you are then all you third-rate tourists, somebody loves you after all. You are very welcome in good old slowly going down the plug hole S-on-A).
Meanwhile back at the Director of South Warwickshire Tourism’s office Alex Holmes (for it is he) defends the decision by saying Stratford District Council has reduced funding by 39 Grand (is some of that my rates? Let me see…at a £1000 a throw for council tax…that’s 39 people’s council tax…withdrawn to go where…?) Anyway, the plot thickens…Mr Nic Walsh, the Chairman of South Warwickshire Tourism wades in with a mouthful of Shakespearian gobbledygook…’We looked very closely at the footfall at Stratford TIC the previous winter’. Er…yes. Right. Well Mr clever boots Mr Nic Walsh perhaps the footfall you should have been looking at whilst at the same time learning some valuable lessons, was the highly successful footfall at The Shakespeare Birthplace Trust where their Estates and Tourism manager has come up with some very exciting plans to ‘offset the loss of revenue from the downturn of tourism’. All hail to E & T manager of the year (at least in my book), at The Shakespeare Birthplace Trust the one, the only Mr…er…oh…Mr Nic Walsh…surely some mistake...unless...no...no it must be a coincidence...

Half a league, half a league, half a league onward,…

Somewhere to ponce about in

It’s been a month or two since I last wrote about Stratford’s ‘other theatre’.
So, just to remind you…
...there’s a very nice first floor building about a hundred yards from the RSC’S Jam Factory that’s been standing empty now for 3/4 years (maybe more…God doesn’t time pass when you're enjoying yourself). I remember how the building was well used in the daylight hours as a tourist-pulling waxworks (Elizabethan street scenes), then converted in a couple of hours to Stratford’s one and only cinema opening its doors when the darkness came and the children of the night roamed the poorly lit streets. It’s final transformation a few years ago was to be a restaurant (downstairs) and a very pleasant but rarely used theatre space upstairs. (Even though I once saw something quite boring performed there I can vouch enthusiastically for its effectiveness as a fantastic space for poncing about in). Anyway…to cut a long and sad story short, while the restaurant’s still in use the theatre space stands forever empty waiting for someone exceedingly rich to buy up its lease.
I have always supported the continued use of the space as theatrical and remember being horrified when some Stratford worthies wanted to put up the money to buy the long lease and transform the building upstairs into a milk bar (?) for Stratford’s calcium-starved young. That, thank God, does not appear to have come to pass, in fact, a week or two ago the sale of the lease came and went without any sign of the milk bar devils and no sign of anyone else either. As is the way of property for sale in good old S-on-A the asking price was way, way out of a normal mortal’s reach, so the space remains just that, a space. But wait, maybe all is not lost.
I was very pleased to see that a group representing Stratford Amateur (I hate that word) Theatre has got together to see what they can do. Power to their theatrical elbows although to be honest I can’t see them raising the two/three million that I believe is the asking price, so I have some advice, a bit of a long shot maybe but no matter, what have they got to lose.
Go, I say, go, cap in hand to see the rather wonderful Mr Felix Dennis (late of OZ magazine). He’s a local boy, is not short of a bob or two and I hear he’s very approachable. Just don't tell him I sent you.

By my calculations this site should see its 1000th reader in the next few minutes.
I’ve been fantasising about what I would offer as a prize if I could afford it (which I can’t so don't get excited) and have finally decided that if this was the real world…
First Prize: (for 1000th visitor) A free day in Stratford.
Second Prize: (for 1001st visitor) Two free days in Stratford.