Mop Day. (Twice a year extravaganza-Main Mop followed by the Runaway Mop 2 weeks later-Will explain Mop tradition some other time. For now all you need to know is that it’s a major money making exercise.)

Mop day in good old S-on-A. In case you don’t know, on this day the town centre is closed off to traffic (hurrah) and the streets taken over by a huge funfair (oh). I use the word ‘fun’ carefully as the only real enjoyment I get out of the occasion is seeing how much the prices have gone up compared to last year but then, I am a miserable bugger. To be honest, I’ve always found the coming of the Mop a sad moment in Stratford’s yearly cycle. It’s as though it marks the end of something, something that never quite happened.
The other interesting thing about the Mop is its technology. Every year the rides get more sophisticated. It’s amazing to think that a devilish mind somewhere has spent the past year poring over a drawing board thinking up more complicated and expensive ways to induce vomit.
The last time I went to the Mop the ride that was commanding all the attention was based on centrifugal force. The Stripper I think it was called. I remember it span so fast that after five minutes into the experience all the participants had lost their clothes and were stark naked. (Actually, none of that's true, I just made it up). However I am reminded of that wonderful episode of Father Ted (TV – did America get it?) the time when the fair came to Craggy Island. There was this spectacular ride consisting of nothing more than a crane lifting a park bench slowly up to about 30ft, before slowly lowering it down. That was it. Up and down. Slowly. Made me think.
I bet you any money if that ride appeared at the Mop tonight there’d be people willing to spend a fiver to have a go.